Post-baby Dress Shopping and Post-Shopping Cookies

So, in a few weeks a pair of friends are getting married, and I'll be a guest at the wedding.  I put off buying a dress until this past weekend; I knew it was going to be more difficult than usual.  I'm pretty short (I probably ought to stay in the petite section, if selection were good) and most of my weight is in my stomach (even before the baby) which doesn't make finding dresses easy.  But this time I have even more requirements: I've gained weight since Thumper was born, so there's that to consider, and I'm still nursing, so I wanted to find something that didn't require me taking off the whole shebang.

Easier said than done.  I headed to Ross while the Yeti stayed home with Thumper, because it's next to impossible trying on clothes quickly with a baby in an Ergo or stroller.  My initial goal was to find a fancy separate skirt and top, but there was literally nothing in that capacity.  Same with finding a pants outfit that didn't look like it belonged to a 50-year-old woman or look too Sunday-morning (it's a night wedding).  I headed to the dresses without much hope.

The main obstacle in finding a dress took me by surprise: my boobs are ginormous.  I've always been well-endowed, so I wouldn't have thought that much would be different in that regard (for example, button-up shirts have always been problematic).  I knew they were bigger, but I bought new nursing bras in new brands and I'd been wearing shirts one size bigger anyway because of the weight I've gained.  I headed to my old usual dress size without really thinking and quickly learned I had to go up two sizes - probably one size for the extra poundage, and one just for the massive bosom (the word 'bosom' makes me giggle - makes me think of an Anastasia Krupnik book and the movie Victor/Victoria, simultaneously).

Now add to that the fact that I'm short, and you get dresses fitting me even less well than usual.  Still, I happened upon something!  It's a black dress, sleeveless, with a gold zipper that runs all the way down the front and a skirt that sort of flares out (thus hiding most of the stomach).  The zipper means I can unzip to nurse (and when it's zipped it's relatively high and I don't have major cleavage, another common dress problem for me).  It's not a particularly discreet way to breastfeed, so I'll have to cover or go in a dark corner or something and I'll probably nurse in a car beforehand to minimize such things, but the point is I won't have to completely undress to do so.

It's just above knee-length and it's got bare arms, so I got a little shrug and I'll probably wear black tights.  I know it's a little goth but I think I'll be able to pull it off since it's at night.  But let's face it, it was pretty much my only reasonable option.  As an added bonus it turned out this dress is only one size bigger than my norm, so it's got added vanity points.

Speaking of vanity, I almost never wear heels, and I picked up a cute pair... only to have the Yeti point out that they're not very practical for carrying Thumper.  Much as I'm loath to admit it - I even picked up Thumper experimentally - he's right, so I'm wearing beaded black flats instead (trust me, I'm clumsier than a bad Mary Sue character in a vampire series). I'm keeping the heels anyway.  Someday we'll go on a date without the baby, and those shoes will be ready.

And after I've spent all that time complaining about my even-more-ample figure, here's photographic proof that I never learn from any of this:

Man, those Girl Scouts saw me coming.  In my defense I bought a bunch with the intent of it being the final Scout cookie purchase of the season.  

Speaking of food, here's Thumper in contemplation: 

We'll pretend he's eyeing the cookies. 

I'm looking forward to the wedding (and I like this couple), but I'm slightly nervous.  There will likely be old friends there I haven't seen in years.  I didn't go to my ten-year high school reunion but this will be similar.  Also we've never taken Thumper to such a formal event.  The Yeti is prepared to hang out outside with him during the ceremony if needed, but still, I'm already planning to get new (quiet) toys to distract him, etc.  But wait'll you see the little outfit he has! Two words: bow tie. 

Deep(ish) Thoughts Caused by Sleep Deprivation

When I disappear for awhile, it's almost always a safe bet that sleep is involved.  For the most part, sleep has a routine around these parts: Thumper wakes up twice a night, eats, goes back down almost immediately.  It's not perfect, but it's not that bad.  We're trying to get him to eat more regular food so I can work on weaning or at least night weaning, but he's not interested and/or gags.  Plus, while he's still on the small side, his last appointment showed that he's creeping up in the growth chart department, so I don't particularly want to mess with what's been working, and it's slow going.  In the meantime, this is fine - but when something messes up that schedule, it really, really sucks.

So last week, Thumper started waking up almost every hour for more than half the night.  It was seemingly out of the blue; nothing had changed.  And we still don't know for sure what the culprit was (or if it was anything, really).  He was moving like crazy around the crib when he did sleep - up, down, in circles, bumping against the bars at one end of the crib even when I'd started him at the other end - and he'd done something similar when learning to crawl, so I wondered if he was practicing walking in his sleep.  That's a definite possibility, but I also discovered he has four (4!) teeth coming in at once as well.  All the same tooth, the one right in front of the molars, left, right, top, and bottom.  Whatever the cause, he's been back to his usual routine over the last few days, meaning I'm not crashing into a deep sleep when he naps just to stay sane.

Valentine's Day was quiet and spent together as a family. The Yeti is wonderful and I could go on all day about him, but I know he doesn't particularly want me to, especially on a public blog.  The next day I did have a massage, which was exciting because I looooove professional massages and the last one I'd had was for last Mother's Day.  My stream of consciousness naturally went in a million different directions as I lay there and I reflected on what my personal spirituality is.  Obviously I'm not into any organized religion or really a believer but I do have my own little gut feelings about things.

What I found myself thinking of as I lay there was back when I was a teenager and went through a Pagan/Wiccan phase.  Even then I was more interested in reading about it than actually doing anything myself, but I always liked the Maiden/Mother/Crone imagery, probably due to the whole Circle of Life thing.  I thought about how much I identify myself as a mother now.  It's not the right choice for everyone, but if I do have any beliefs it's that I personally was meant to be a mother.  I've always wanted to be one, and now that I am, I do somehow feel more whole.  Yes, I still have my own other hobbies and goals (for example, to be a published author, someday) and hopefully decades in which to live after Thumper is grown, but still, I feel like this is a major component of me.  Whether it's biological imperative or personality type or something else, I do feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to.

At least, I think that's the general gist of what I was thinking.  I snored and startled myself fully awake.

A Collection of Thoughts

Just a little bit of an around-here update:

Been thinking more and more about Thumper's room.  Currently he still sleeps in his crib, in our room.  We have an area of the apartment that's meant to be a den.  I'm not sure yet if/when he'll be sleeping in it, but I do think it needs to be turned into his "room," so he has his own space and furniture and when we do eventually move and he gets his own room, he'll have his own "stuff" that's familiar.  And on a purely selfish note, we can get shelves and bins for his toys so the living room doesn't have every single one in there at all times.

I've been getting pretty excited about the idea of decorating it.  I never got to put together a nursery, but Thumper's still pretty young, so this is still probably more about my taste than his.  We seem to have stumbled upon a space theme; his crib sheets are mostly green, but I hadn't found any green toddler bedding that really seemed like him.  Then a friend gave us a TARDIS throw and I, separately, bought a Gallifreyan throw for Thumper's eventual room; then, last night, I found some space-themed bedding that I loved, and today I found a night light I loved.  I don't want to be too matchy-matchy, but it looks like space it is.

Then I realized how funny that actually is.  While looking at space-themed decor on Pinterest, I realized I was discounting this or that because "I'd already done that."  Wait, what?  Well, when I was in college, for three years my room was based around a comforter set I had that was red with galaxies and stars on it.  In fact, I had always intended to keep it as a play blanket for potential future children, but alas there was a basement mouse incident five years ago.  I hadn't consciously thought of it while choosing stuff for Thumper, and his bedding is different, but I guess my tastes are limited. Oh well; the Yeti signed off on that bedding too, and, as mentioned, I am trying to avoid College 2.0, even subconsciously.  

Have I mentioned that Thumper is walking now?!  Just a few shuffling steps here and there, but still!  We knew he was close, because for weeks he'd been standing up on his own (just standing up under his own power, not pulling up on furniture) and looking like he wanted to walk.  Then one night about a week after his first birthday, he actually moved forward a few steps before plopping down.  I was happy because it was a weekend and the Yeti was there too, and said as much.

"Are you sure that counts?" he said, doubtful.  "I mean, he barely shuffled."

"Yes!" I exclaimed.  "He's not just going to be wandering around out of nowhere.  Haven't you heard the term 'baby steps'?"

He hasn't made much forward progress since then, though we're still getting two and three steps here and there.  But he's also practicing standing up and doing squats whilst holding heavy objects, so I like to think that in his brain, it's a montage from Rocky, building up to taking a victory lap.

I haven't been reading all that much in the last month but I was quite a bit right after Christmas, reading a few of my Christmas presents.  By far my favorite of what I've read thus far are two mystery novels by Tana French, an author who was new to me (the Yeti likes to go new for Christmas).  The first one, In the Woods, was her first novel.

My ultimate dream is to be a published mystery author myself, and I'll be honest, there are definitely times when I'll read something in the subgenre I write in and think to myself, "Yes, I could do this.  With enough time and editing, I could be this good, and this person is published.  I can get here someday."  When I read In the Woods, my thinking was more along the lines of, "This was her first novel.  Granted, it's not my subgenre, but I feel like I could never be this good."

I read the first two novels, featuring some of the same characters, and then stopped because she can be a little dark and I needed a breather.  But each novel managed to leave me satisfied, even though the endings were far from neat and tidy, while still wanting to move on to the next.  Even writing about it now is making me want to hop on my Kindle and get the next one.

The Super Bowl was on Sunday.  Yes, the Seahawks lost.  Yes, it sucked.  But I'm okay, actually.  The only thing I really hoped for in this season was for them to win the Thanksgiving game, which they did handily.  Everything else has been a bonus.  Someone suggested rooting for another team and I was aghast; win or lose, this is still my team and I still count myself a major fan.

And finally, putting things on one's head is once again the funniest thing in the world, whether it's me, the Yeti, or Thumper, and whether it's a stuffed animal, a sock, a bowl, or a hat.  Which makes me happy, because it means we get to see this hat a little more, even though it barely fits on his head anymore.